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11 ABC method of managing attitudes

A-B-C METHOD OF MANAGING ATTITUDES

As an airport skycap checked through a customer at curbside, he

accidentally knocked over the man's luggage. He quickly collected the

fallen bags and apologized for the mishap. Unappeased, the traveler

burst into an angry tirade, raging and swearing at the skycap for his

clumsiness. Throughout the traveler's rant, the baggage handler

simply apologized and smiled. The angry man continued berating the

skycap, until he finally headed off to catch his plane. Even then the

baggage handler remained calm and passively smiled.

The next customer in line witnessed the incident and marveled at the

skycap's professionalism and control. "I have never seen such

restraint and humility," he said. "How do you keep your cool when

somebody is attacking you so viciously?"

"It's easy," the skycap answered. "He's going to Denver, but his bags

are going to Detroit."

That is certainly ONE way of managing attitudes, but here is a more

constructive approach.

Have you heard of the A-B-C method of managing your attitude? It's

simple and effective.

"A" stands for the "Activating Event." Let's say you get stuck in

traffic. The traffic jam is the activating event.

"B" stands for your "Belief System." You believe that traffic is only

getting worse and you'll have more and more days like this ahead.

"C" stands for the "Consequence of the Event." You become angry. You

want to honk your horn. Your stomach is tied in knots and you bang

the dashboard with your fist.

The problem is...most people jump directly from "A" to "C." They get

stuck in traffic and become angry. They think the traffic jam made

them upset. They don't realize that they don't HAVE to get angry.

They skipped an important step!

Let's try it again:

"A" - you get stuck in traffic.

"B" - you believe that you were given some unexpected and extra time

to spend in solitude, to listen to a great tape or to plan your day.

"C" - the consequence is that you feel gratitude for the gift of

time.

I have a friend who is fond of saying, "A traffic jam has no power to

make us angry. It just stops our car." He is aware that between the

activating event and the consequence is something that we control:

our beliefs about what is happening.

The next time you have a problem -- at home or at work, big or

small -- decide to manage your attitude toward it. Practice the A-B-C

method. You probably can't change "A," the activating event. But try

hanging on"B," your beliefs about the problem. When you change your

beliefs, you also change "C," the consequences of the situation.

It's as simple as A-B-C. Manage your beliefs, and you'll manage to be

a lot happier!
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