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diaphanous/[dai'æfənəs]/ a. 透明的, 轻柔的...

异国的阳光其实并不遥远

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What day is it today? Is it Tuesday or Thursday? This thought raced through her mind as she sat back with her studentsgoing over the lesson that never seemed to end. Didn’t I just do this yesterday? Or was it a year ago? Hell, everything seemed to jumble together anymore. "Miss Smith
can I go to the bathroom?" Jorge asked, as he proceeded to jump from one foot to another, holding himself. How many times have I heard this? She wondered as she abruptly said, "Yes" and watched as he raced out of the room.
Sitting at the table she gazed at her students while thinking of what she would do after work. Maybe I’ll go to the gym or stop at the market for something to eat tonight. Mechanically she continued with her lesson on the short letter "a" with her students. "The letter "a" makes what sound?" "a, a, a", the students sang together going through the empty motions. The clock dragged away the minutes teasing her with the tediousness of the day.
Won’t it end? She thought as the phone rang out its morse code for her room. Sighing she stood up and walked through the maze of students desks to get to the phone. Picking up the receiver the other voice seemed a hundred miles away. Oh, how I wish I were anywhere but here. Here mind wandered to the hot exotic beach of Cabo, Mexico, where she had spent her last summer break. She still remembered the cool breezes that caressed her skin as she lay on the gritty sand.
"Miss Smith did you hear me?" the secretary annoyingly asked her. "Oh, sorry. What did you say?" "Can you send Carla to the office?" the secretary impatiently asked. "Oh, course" she replied as she hung up the phone. She turned from the phone and yelled out Carla’s name. Carla, who was one of the many who always seemed so needy that were in her class this year. Carla looked up from her desk, her hair hanging like a matted displaced doll. Her face was lined with dirt that gave her the appearance of one of those munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. "You need to go to the office", she said while Carla slowly rose from her desk. "Why do I have to go?" whined Carla. "It’s between you and the office—just go up" she hastily turned her back as Carla walked out of the room. Like having free school uniforms is the answer. It would be nice if just once someone called saying something nice or thanking me for all the endless crap I have to deal with. With a sigh she walked back to her other students who were clustered at the back table patiently waiting her return.
The rest of the afternoon blurred into one long endless repetition. Finally the bell rang as a relief. As she led her students out the door they walked behind her as baby chicks returning to their fold. She noticed that their mother hens clucked to them behind the iron gate. As she proceeded to walk down the corridor, the air, which rose with the musical tingle of Spanish coloring everything that touched it, greeted her. She watched with a touch of envy as the children left her to return to those homes that probably were filled with laughter and warmth while she would once again return to the same endless march of boredom.
"Senora, un momento por favor" She turned her head and noticed the small shriveled man, his brown face lined with a map to places only he knew. "Thanks for helping my grandson Julio to read" the gentleman said in his faltering broken English. She immediately thought of Julio, who once as unreachable as a hardened walnut, slowly cracked opened to reveal the eager child inside. She thought of the inner struggle Julio must have had as he tried to make sense of the foreign letters and the sudden joy when he had unbroken the mysterious code. Was the grandfather the same? She looked up at this elderly gentleman, probably his grandfather, and quickly recognized the sameness of the two. "Gracias Senora" a weathered hand came out and firmly grasped hers with warmth that radiated from his soul to hers. Just as abruptly he removed his hand and left her. As he walked away she thought of that exotic sun and realized maybe it was closer to her than she thought.

  今天是星期几?星期二还是星期三?她和学生进行那似乎永无休止的复习,课间休息时,这个念头在她脑子里转了好几圈。我是不是昨天才做完?或者那已是去年的事了?该死,好像什么事都搅到一块儿来了。“史密斯小姐,我可以去一下洗手间吗?”乔治正要迈腿,又停下问道。我是第几次听到这个了?她想着这个问题,随即说道:“去吧”,看着他跑出了教室。
  她坐在桌边,眼睛盯着学生,脑子里却在想,下了班该去哪里。也许该去健身,或者去市场买点东西晚上吃。她机械地上着课,给学生讲字母“a”。“‘a’怎么念?”“a, a, a”学生们齐声干巴巴地念着。时钟一分分过去,似乎在嘲笑她这沉闷的一天。
  该结束了吧?她正想着,教室的电话响了。她叹了一口气,站起身来,穿过学生的课桌去接电话。拿起话筒,那一端的声音似乎从100英里以外传来。天,要是身处异地该多好!。她神游到了充满异国情调的墨西哥卡波海滩,去年暑假她就是在那儿度过的。她仍记得慵懒地躺在沙滩上,任习习凉风亲吻自己的肌肤。
  “史密斯小姐,你在听我说话吗?”秘书有点生气地问道。“哦,对不起,你刚才说什么?”“叫卡拉到我办公室来一下。”秘书更不耐烦了。“哦,好的。”她边说边挂了电话。她转过身来叫着卡拉的名字。卡拉是今年她班上许多贫困学生之一。卡拉抬起头,松散的头发像一篷乱草。满脸泥垢的她看起来像《绿野仙踪》里的芒虚金。“你去一趟办公室。”当卡拉慢慢抬起头的时候,她说道。“为什么要我去?”卡拉嗫嚅道。“去了就知道。快去吧。”她随即转过身,卡拉出去了。她是去领免费的校服的。如果能有人打电话来,说些好听的话或者感谢我做的这些讨厌的工作就好了。她叹了口气,回到后排那一群正耐心等着她的学生。
  整个下午都在不断重复着这不尽的单调。最后,救命的钟声终于敲响了。她带着学生走出了教室,就像母鸡带着小鸡回窝似的。她看到学生的妈妈正在铁门后热切等待着他们。当她穿过走廊的时候,那带着西班牙音乐气息的空气迎面扑来。她羡慕地看着孩子们离开她,回到充满欢笑和温暖的家,而自己却不得不再次回到这无尽的单调与无聊之中。
  “您好,夫人,打扰你几分钟。”她转过头看到一个窘迫的男人,棕色的脸上布满了皱纹。“谢谢您对我孙子胡里奥的帮助。”他用蹩脚的英语说道。她立即想起了胡里奥,曾经外表看来那么不可接近,后来慢慢地敞开了一个孩子热切的内心世界。胡里奥一定暗暗努力想学好外文,并且每次进步都能令他欣喜不已。这位祖父也是这样吗?她抬头看着这位也许是胡里奥祖父的老人家,很快就意识到他们两人之间的共通之处。“谢谢您,夫人。”他伸出一只饱经风霜的手,紧紧握住她,他的热情深深地感染了她。他很快又缩回了手,走开了。当他离开时,她想到了异国的阳光,而且明白,异国的阳光其实并不遥远。

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