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self-control/['selfkən'trəul]/ n. 克己, 自制...

The SEA-WOLF(海狼)V2-39

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CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE.

¡¡¡¡THE DAY CAME FOR OUR DEPARTURE. There was no longer anything to detain us on Endeavor Island. The Ghost's stumpy masts were in place, her crazy sails bent. All my handiwork was strong, none of it beautiful; but I knew that it would work, and I felt myself a man of power as I looked at it.

¡¡¡¡'I did it! I did it! With my own hands I did it!' I wanted to cry aloud.

¡¡¡¡But Maud and I had a way of voicing each other's thoughts; and she said, as we prepared to hoist the mainsail:

¡¡¡¡'To think, Humphrey, you did it all with your own hands!'

¡¡¡¡'But there were two other hands,' I answered- 'two small hands. And don't say that was also a phrase of your father's.'

¡¡¡¡She shook her head and laughed, and held her hands up for inspection.

¡¡¡¡'I can never get them clean again,' she wailed, 'nor soften the weather-beat.'

¡¡¡¡'Then dirt and weather-beat shall be your guerdon of honor,' I said, holding them in mine; and, spite of my resolutions, I would have kissed the two dear hands had she not swiftly withdrawn them.

¡¡¡¡Our comradeship was becoming tremulous. I had mastered my love long and well, but now it was mastering me. Willfully had it disobeyed and won my eyes to speech, and now it was winning my tongue- aye, and my lips, for they were mad this moment to kiss the two small hands which had toiled so faithfully and hard. And I, too, was mad. There was a cry in my being like bugles calling me to her. And there was a wind blowing upon me which I could not resist, swaying the very body of me till I leaned toward her, all unconscious that I leaned. And she knew it. She could not but know it as she swiftly drew away her hands, and yet could not forbear one quick searching look before she turned away her eyes.

¡¡¡¡By means of deck-tackles I had arranged to carry the halyards forward to the windlass; and now I hoisted the mainsail, peak and throat, at the same time. It was a clumsy way, but it did not take long, and soon the foresail as well was up and fluttering.

¡¡¡¡'We can never get that anchor up in this narrow place, once it has left the bottom,' I said. 'We should be on the rocks first.'

¡¡¡¡'What can you do?' she asked.

¡¡¡¡'Slip it,' my answer. 'And when I do, you must do your first work on the windlass. I shall have to run at once to the wheel, and at the same time you must be hoisting the jib.'

¡¡¡¡This maneuver of getting under way I had studied and worked out a score of times; and, with the jib-halyard to the windlass, I knew Maud was capable of hoisting that most necessary sail. A brisk wind was blowing into the cover, and, though the water was calm, rapid work was required to get us safely out.

¡¡¡¡When I knocked the shackle-bolt loose, the chain roared out through the hawse-hole and into the sea. I raced aft, putting the wheel up. The Ghost seemed to start into life as she heeled to the first fill of her sails. The jib was rising. As it filled, the Ghost's bow swung off, and I had to put the wheel down a few spokes and steady her.

¡¡¡¡I had devised an automatic jib-sheet which passed the jib across of itself, so there was no need for Maud to attend to that; but she was still hoisting the jib when I put the wheel hard down. It was a moment of anxiety, for the Ghost was rushing directly upon the beach, a stone's throw distant. But she swung obediently on her heel into the wind. There was a great fluttering and flapping of canvas and reef-points, most welcome to my ears, then she filled away on the other tack.

¡¡¡¡Maud had finished her task and come aft, where she stood beside me, a small cap perched on her wind-blown hair, her cheeks flushed from exertion, her eyes wide and bright with the excitement, her nostrils quivering to the rush and bite of the fresh salt air. Her brown eyes were like a startled deer's. There was a wild, keen look in them I had never seen before, and her lips parted and her breath suspended as the Ghost, charging upon the wall of rock at the entrance to the inner cove, swept into the wind and filled away into safe water.

¡¡¡¡My first mate's berth on the sealing-grounds stood me in good stead, and I cleared the inner cove and laid a long tack along the shore of the outer cover. Once again about, and the Ghost headed out to open sea. She had now caught the bosom-breathing of the ocean, and was herself abreath with the rhythm of it as she smoothly mounted and slipped down each broad-backed wave. The day had been dull and overcast, but the sun now burst through the clouds, a welcome omen, and shone upon the curving beach where together we had dared the lords of the harem and slain the holluschickie. All Endeavor Island brightened under the sun. Even the grim southwestern promontory showed less grim, and here and there, where the sea-spray wet its surface, high lights flashed and dazzled in the sun.

¡¡¡¡'I shall always think of it with pride,' I said to Maud.

¡¡¡¡She threw her head back in a queenly way, but sad, 'Dear, dear Endeavor Island! I shall always love it.'

¡¡¡¡'And I,' I said quickly.

¡¡¡¡It seemed our eyes must meet in a great understanding, and yet, loath, they struggled away and did not meet.

¡¡¡¡There was a silence I might almost call awkward, till I broke it, saying:

¡¡¡¡'See those black clouds to windward. You remember, I told you last night the barometer was falling.'

¡¡¡¡'And the sun is gone,' she said, her eyes still fixed upon our island where we had proved our mastery over matter and attained to the truest comradeship which may fall to man and woman.

¡¡¡¡'And it's slack off the sheets for Japan!' I cried gaily. 'A fair wind and a flowing sheet, you know, or however it goes.'

¡¡¡¡Lashing the wheel, I ran forward, eased the fore- and main-sheets, took in on the boom-tackles, and trimmed everything for the quartering breeze which was ours. Unfortunately, when running free it is impossible to lash the wheel, so I faced an all-night watch. Maud insisted on relieving me, but proved that she had not the strength to steer in a heavy sea, even if she could have gained the wisdom on such short notice. She appeared quite heartbroken over the discovery, but recovered her spirits by coiling down tackles and halyards and all stray ropes. Then there were meals to be cooked in the galley, beds to make, Wolf Larsen to be attended upon, and she finished the day with a grand house-cleaning attack upon the cabin and steerage.

¡¡¡¡All night I steered, without relief, the wind slowly and steadily increasing and the sea rising. At five in the morning Maud brought me hot coffee and biscuits she had baked, and at seven a substantial and piping hot breakfast put new life into me.

¡¡¡¡Throughout the day, and as slowly and steadily as ever, the wind increased. And still the Ghost foamed along, racing off the miles till I was certain she was making at least eleven knots. It was too good to lose, but by nightfall I was exhausted. Though in splendid physical trim, a thirty-six-hour trick at the wheel was the limit of my endurance. Besides, I knew, if the wind and sea, increased at the same rate during the night, that it would soon be impossible to heave to. So, as twilight deepened, gladly, and at the same time reluctantly, I brought the Ghost up on the wind.

¡¡¡¡But I had not reckoned upon the colossal task the reefing of three sails meant for one man. While running away from the wind I had not appreciated its force, but when we ceased to run, I learned, to my sorry, and well-nigh to my despair, how fiercely it was really blowing. The wind balked my every effort, ripping the canvas out of my hands and in an instant undoing what I had gained by ten minutes of severest struggle. At eight o'clock I had succeeded only in putting the second reef into the foresail. At eleven o'clock I was no further along. Blood dripped from every finger-end, while the nails were broken to the quick. From pain and sheer exhaustion, I wept in the darkness, secretly, so that Maud should not know.

¡¡¡¡Then, in desperation, I abandoned the attempt to reef the mainsail, and resolved to try the experiment of heaving to under the close-reefed foresail. Three hours more were required to gasket the mainsail and jib, and at two in the morning, nearly dead, the life almost buffeted and worked out of me, I had barely sufficient consciousness to know the experiment was a success.

¡¡¡¡I was famished, but Maud tried vainly to get me to eat. So sleepily helpless was I that she was compelled to hold me in my chair to prevent my being flung to the floor by the violent pitching of the schooner.

¡¡¡¡Of the passage from the galley to the cabin I knew nothing. In fact, I was aware of nothing till I awoke in my bunk, with my boots off. It was dark. I was stiff and lame, and cried out with pain when the bedclothes touched my poor finger-ends. Morning had evidently not come, so I closed my eyes and went to sleep again. I did not know it, but I had slept the clock around and it was night again.

¡¡¡¡Once more I awoke, troubled because I could sleep no better. I struck a match and looked at my watch. It marked midnight. And I had not left the deck until three! I should have been puzzled had I not guessed the solution. No wonder I was sleeping brokenly. I had slept twenty-one hours. I listened for a while to the behavior of the Ghost, to the pounding of the seas and the muffled roar of the wind on deck and then turned over on my side and slept peacefully until morning.

¡¡¡¡When I arose at seven I saw no sign of Maud, and concluded she was in the galley preparing breakfast. On deck I found the Ghost doing splendidly under her patch of canvas. But in the galley, though a fire was burning and water boiling, I found no Maud.

¡¡¡¡I discovered her in the steerage, by Wolf Larsen's bunk. I looked at him- the man who had been hurled down from the topmost pitch of life to be buried alive and be worse than dead. There seemed a relaxation of his expressionless face which was new. Maud looked at me, and I understood.

¡¡¡¡'His life flickered out in the storm,' I said.

¡¡¡¡'But he still lives,' she answered, infinite faith in her voice.

¡¡¡¡'He had too great strength.'

¡¡¡¡'Yes,' she said; 'but now it no longer shackles him. He is a free spirit.'

¡¡¡¡'He is a free spirit surely,' I answered; and, taking her hand, I led her on deck.

¡¡¡¡The storm broke that night, which is to say that it diminished as slowly as it had arisen. After breakfast next morning, when I had hoisted Wolf Larsen's body on deck ready for burial, it was still blowing heavily and a large sea was running. The deck was continually awash with the sea which came inboard over the rail and through the scuppers. The wind smote the schooner with a sudden gust, and she heeled over till her lee rail was buried, the roar in her rigging rising in pitch to a shriek. We stood in the water to our knees as I bared my head.

¡¡¡¡'I remember only one part of the service,' I said, 'and that is, "And the body shall be cast into the sea."'

¡¡¡¡Maud looked at me, surprised and shocked; but the spirit of something I had seen before was strong upon me, impelling me to give service to Wolf Larsen as Wolf Larsen had once given service to another man. I lifted the end of the hatch-cover, and the canvas-shrouded body slipped feet first into the sea. The weight of iron dragged it down. It was gone.

¡¡¡¡'Good-by, Lucifer, proud spirit!' Maud whispered so low that it was drowned by the shouting of the wind; but I saw the movement of her lips, and knew.

¡¡¡¡As we clung to the lee rail and worked our way aft, I happened to glance to leeward. The Ghost, at the moment, was uptossed on a sea, and I caught a clear view of a small steamship two or three miles away, rolling and pitching head on to the sea as it steamed toward us. It was painted black, and from the talk of the hunters of their poaching exploits I recognized it as a United States revenue cutter. I pointed it out to Maud, and hurriedly led her aft to the safety of the poop.

¡¡¡¡I started to rush below to the flag-locker, then remembered that in rigging the Ghost I had forgotten to make provisions for a flag-halyard.

¡¡¡¡'We need no distress signal,' Maud said. 'They have only to see us.'

¡¡¡¡'We are saved!' I said soberly and solemnly. And then, in an exuberance of joy, 'I hardly know whether to be glad or not.'

¡¡¡¡I looked at her. Our eyes were not loath to meet. We leaned toward each other, and before I knew it, my arms were about her.

¡¡¡¡'Need I?' I asked.

¡¡¡¡And she answered: 'There is no need; though the telling of it would be sweet, so sweet.'

¡¡¡¡Her lips met the press of mine, and, by what strange trick of the imagination I know not, the scene in the cabin of the Ghost flashed upon me, when she had pressed her fingers lightly on my lips and said, 'Hush, hush.'

¡¡¡¡'My woman, my one small woman,' I said, my free hand petting her shoulder in the way all lovers know though never learn in school.

¡¡¡¡'My man,' she said, looking at me for an instant with tremulous lids which fluttered down and veiled her eyes as she rested her head against my breast with a happy little sigh.

¡¡¡¡I looked toward the cutter. It was very close. A boat was being lowered.

¡¡¡¡'One kiss, dear love,' I whispered. 'One kiss more before they come.'

¡¡¡¡'And rescue us from ourselves,' she completed, with a most adorable smile, whimsical as I had never seen it, for it was whimsical with love.

¡¡¡¡ THE END
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