Dusk was streaming, with the golden sunlight spreading over the sky into a huge glorious cloth. In a KFC franchise, I was leaning on the chair and appreciating through the glass walls the scenic landscape.
All of a sudden, a mild male voice came to my ears, “Excuse me, lady, shall we have a chat?” I was terribly stunned and turned back, only to touch his crystal and smiling eyes. I looked at him through toes to head. He was of tall and strong figure with a handsome face and dressed in a quality leisure outfit, leaving me an intimate and cool sense. I smiled and joked, “My boyfriend is on the way, so do you still want to chat with me?” “Of course, because I am sure you have no boyfriend!” He sat calmly before me and said without any restriction, “I have been noticing you for a long time. No girl will appear so leisurely when waiting for her boyfriend.” I laughed happily with my delicate teeth shining. I was astonished by his sharp mind and began chatting with him gleefully. Then, I knew him, jack, an engineer in a computer company.
The second time we met, he gave me a bunch of fire-like roses covered by green paper, smiling emotionally. The third time we met, we were strolling along the beach in the moonlight. With the wind from the sea cooling, he warmed me by hugging me tightly. The forth time we met and chatted pleasantly, he squatted suddenly and helped me tie the shoelaces. At then moment, I said to myself with great appreciation: I will fall in love with him.
After a heated affection for a month, we made love. After all the passion faded away, I lay prone jack’s breast and asked him, “Jack, I am not a virgin. Do you still love me?” He fondled my messy hair like I was a lovely puppy, saying, “Sweetheart, why do you ask me this stupid question? Of course I love you!” I was happy to jump from the bed and hugged him tightly, saying, “ jack, I cannot love you more.” The next day, I took my luggage to jack’s house and began living with him. Those days seemed like blooming flowers, beautiful and romantic. Every morning, when the sunshine was filtering through the milky curtain, I got dressed in family suit and slippers, preparing breakfast for jack, including fried eggs, toasts and milk. After all was done, I would call jack up. Then he would say to me happily that I was the most beautiful and diligent wife in the world. Happiness, like the aroma of milk and eggs, spread over every corner of the house, delicately sweet!
一天杰路过一家时尚小屋，小屋的门前挂着一个小小的粉红色的牌子：“还你处女身，只要80元！” 我嘻嘻笑着说：“听说男人都有处女情结，弥补一下你的遗憾。听说这东西，只要放在里面，就会落红，跟真的一样。” 安杰认真的看着我说：“我没有处女情结，你不用补偿。再说，不是处女没什么可耻，拿那假的东西骗人才可恨。”我又一次感动的像小狗一样，把脑袋使劲往安杰怀里钻：“安杰，你真是世界上最伟大的男人，我一定会好好爱你一辈子。”
One day when jack passed by a small fashion shop with a small piece of wood hanging in front, reading “Be a virgin again, only 80 yuan!” I could not help laughing, “it is said that every man has an affection for virgin. In order to realize your need, I could use it!” jack looked at me seriously and said, “I had no affection for virgins, so you do not need to make up for me! What’s more, it is not at all a shame for not being a virgin. Those who use such kind of tricks to cheat others deserve hatred!” I was again considerably moved by jack, rushing into his arms like a puppy, saying, “Jack, you are the greatest man in the world. I will love you for my whole life.”
After I lived with jack for 60 days, he took me to his hometown to visit his parents. In front of his parents, he did not try to cover our intimate relationship, which obviously indicated our love to his parents. Before we left, jack’s mother gave me a small delicate box, in which was an ring with a pure emerald. I was feeling embarrassed, and jack’s mother told me mildly, “It is our family heritage that has been passed over the generations for a long time. It is given to my daughter-in-law.” Jack stood by and smiled to me.
Wearing the ring, I began anticipating the wedding. I was imagining in the westernized church full of gorgeous flowers, a couple in bridal veils walked to the music and swore at presence of the priest and all the relatives and friends that whether be rich or poor, healthy or sick, we would never abandon each other. Jack was looking forward to a wedding undersea. Then we could wear diving suit and dance with various fishes. In September, jack was dispatched by his company to another city to work for two months. I was busy packaging all his luggage for him, including razor and facial cleaning scream. I said to him again and again, “ jack, without me staying with you, you should know to control yourself and do not get stolen by other girls.” Jack hugged me with his arms and said, “ Honey, you are my wife, so I will never touch other girls.”
Jack was gone, leaving me alone in such a spacious house. Life began to get tedious. In the morning when I got up, I felt extremely lonely and had no desire to cook breakfast. I dare not watch the horrible ghost movies without jack’s solid breast. Jack would call me right at 10 Pm, scattering away my loneliness. But my miss towards him was growing wildly like weeds. After a month, I said to jack, “ jack, not until you left me do I realize how much you mean to me. After you come back, we will get married at once. I feel somewhat worried that time will wash our love away.” Jack said to me lovingly, “Ok, honey! We will get married after I come back.”
I counted every day the date when jack would return. Each time I passed the photo shop after work, I would stare at the beautiful couples on the photos, smiling happily. I thought that before long, jack and I would also become one of them. Half a month before jack came back, his call to me often stopped halfway before we really finished our talking. I asked him the reason, but he explained that his work was going to an end and he had more work to do during that period. I believed him and asked him to take good care of himself. One time before I hung up the phone, I said to him lovingly, “ jack, I have specified a set of wedding photos we will take when we get married. There are also preferential services.” Hearing this, jack simply said a word “ uhm” without too much affection. His behavior made me feel a sense of uneasiness. But soon I got back to my feet and laughed at my craziness. Touching the ring his mother gave me, I said to myself with great happiness that I was going to be a bride! Finally jack came back, but his mood was volatile and he dare not looked into my eyes. My intuition told me that he had covered something to me. I bit my lips and asked myself not to think of it. To my mind, as long as I could get married with jack, I did not care whether he had had some love affairs with other women. I took jack to the photo shop and tried out my new wedding. When jack saw the angle-like me in the sacred white wedding, he was totally stunned. I smiled and took his arms to take photos. I finally released my anxiety. Jack continued to work in front of the computer, and there were some strange calls popping in that made him uneasy. But I took it as nothing and continued to prepare our wedding necessities.
On the tenth day after jack came back, an uninvited lady came to my home. Jack saw her, face turning pale. I stared at them coldly, saying, “You can have a talk and I will go out.” When I was walking down the stairs, I felt extremely weak and could hardly sustain. I seated myself in the garden in our community, with the lady’s face appearing again and again in my mind. The lady was so tender and cute, giving others a sense of helplessness and encouraging everyone to cherish her. I felt great heartache, for fear that there would be more upcoming later. An hour later, jack rushed out with her in his arms. When they were coming near me, I saw the girl bleeding in her wrist. She was meant to suicide by cutting her wrist. I was totally astounded. Jack smashed to the road and took a taxi to hospital. The girl was rescued, face turning pale. She was receiving injection silently. Her hands hold jack’s tightly, begging again and again, “ jack, please to not leave me. You cannot be so irresponsible.” Jack kissed her pretty hands with pities in his eyes, saying, “OK honey, I will not leave you!” I backed up, feeling a sword cutting my heart.
When jack walked out the ward, he told me she was asleep. I could not hold my calmness any more and shouted at him irritatingly. He dropped his head down and told me their stories. The girl was named Susan. They went to the same workplace when jack was in another city. Having encountered each other for many times, they became good friends. A month later, on an evening when both of them over drank, they had sexual relationship. Hearing this, I was tearing desperately, shouting to him hysterically, “So how do you cope with it? She and I, whom will you choose?” jack looked elsewhere and said, “I do not know……” Eventually, he decided to choose Susan. Days of love drained away in a second. I uncontrollable grapped jack’s collar and asked hopelessly, “why her, not me?” “ Lily,” jack replied calmly, “you are stronger than her. Without me, you can still live on. But she cannot, for she is too fragile. If I leave her, she would die.” I said to him, “Do you mean she can die for you? I tell you now that I also can do the same!” I quickly took a sharp knife out of my handbag and smashed it to my wrist. Jacked held my hands timely, eyes turning red, saying, “Lily, do not do such a stupid thing. She gave herself to me as a virgin. I cannot do wrong to her any more!” I was like being stricken by thunder, knife falling down. When I recovered, I slapped him across his face, shouting desperately, “You told me before that you did not care about whether I was a virgin or not. But deep down your heart, virgin still dominates everything. And I deserve your abandonment.” I cleaned my tears on face and rushed out without any regret. It was totally unworthy to sacrifice for such a man.
Jack held his wedding with Susan after a month. On that day, I was drinking heavily in a pub. All the past was gone with the wind. I did not go to take to photos we took together, and returned the ring to him. Nothing could hold up jack’s love, except a virgin. Having drunk too much, I could not help cursing that all men were bitches and cheats. All the men inside the pub stared at me with great curiosity. At that time, I felt like a broken jade that no one would cherish.
Several months later after I picked myself together, I went to the supermarket to buy some food. Accidentally, I met jack and his wife Susan. They were buying some necessities for pregnant woman and baby. Seeing me, jack felt somewhat guilty. Susan was a little fat, leaning by jack with happy smiles on her face. She told me that the baby was almost 3 months old. I squeezed a smile and sent my best wishes to them, though I still hated them tremendously. When jack went to pay the bill, Susan told me that jack was really a good husband who would not allow her to do any housework after she got pregnant. He would cook breakfast for her every morning to ensure a nutrition balance between her and the baby. A great sense of agony struck my heart again. Jack did all the same things for her as I did to him in the past. After departing from them, I was too bored to kick the back of a minibus, only to cause the alarming bell to ring madly, which scared to run away.
Several days later, on a deep night, my phone rang stiffly. I picked up the phone and heard jack shouting in a panic, “Lily, please come to my home. Susan is bleeding below heavily and I am afraid that she is going to abort!” I was shocked and took a taxi to his home without any delay. On the way, I asked myself again and again why I would care so much about them because in the past I hated them so much. Susan was sent to hospital. Outside the ward, jack was too upset and lit up a cigarette, walking to and fro and groaning constantly that it was his fault to let her make coffee for him. I was a little angry and wondering why a pregnant woman could not make coffee. But I still comforted him that Susan would be ok because of the professional doctors here. Finally the doctor came out, saying that the baby was safe and sound. Jack sighed relaxingly. But all of a sudden, the doctor frowned and said to jack, “You do not know to protect and love your wife. How many times has she aborted? Her womb is too thin to protect the baby.” We were both shocked immediately. Jack was losing his mind, staring at the doctor speechlessly. I walked out of the hospital. Night became dense then. I wanted to laugh out loudly, but deep in my heart, I felt great acid. I thought of the time when I walked past the fashion shop with jack. Obviously, the shrewd girl, Susan, spent only 80, destroying the past and the future of jack and me. I came to realize that sometimes, love was so fragile and only deserved 80 yuan……”