Vanessa：So this Blair girl used you as her slave?
Jenny：No,I was her handmaiden.
Vanessa："Handmaiden" is Jane Austen for "slave."
Jenny：She never actually said I would get to go to the ball even if I did all those errands.
Vanessa：Don't make excuses for her. You did all that stuff.You deserve to go.
Jenny：I thought you said that masked balls are "totally pretentious." Vanessa：One woman's opinion. But if you wanna go,no Blair should keep you away.
Jenny：It's not just Blair. I mean,I don't have a gown.
Vanessa：My friend works in the costume department at B.A.M. We can borrow one. Next?
Jenny：I don't have an invitation.
Vanessa：Every ballroom has a back door.What else?
Jenny：If Blair saw me,she'd be furious.
Vanessa：Then it's a good thing you'll be wearing a mask.
Gossip Girl：On the upper east side, appearances are often deceiving. From friends to hair color,there's always more than meets the eye.
Man：Is uptown this way or that way?
Dan：It's that way and these things whizzing by here-they're cars.You might want to avoid them.You know what? You'll see better without this too.
Man：Whoa. That is better.
Dan：Hey, you got a name?
Dan：Hi. Jack altman. I just stepped out for some air.
Vanessa：Thank you. Wait. Let me see.
Jenny：Okay look,I know you're completely morally opposed to society events and stuff,but--
Vanessa：We'll deprogram you later.This is ugly. Just go.
Jenny：All right. Thanks.
Vanessa：Thank you so much. Anytime.
Gossip Girl：What was it we said about appearances? Yes,they can be deceiving. But most of the time, what you see is what you get.
Vanessa：Hey. Have you seen that girl I was with? When I grabbed her bag,I got her house keys,too.
Blair：What is Nate doing? He's supposed to go find Kati and Is. It's getting late and I'm losing heat.
Chuck：Well,you look ravishing. If I were your man,I wouldn't need clues to find you.
Blair：Or to ravish me,I'm sure.
Chuck：Who is that?
Blair：Probably some bitch from Chapin.
Chuck：Hot bitch from Chapin.
Blair：Forget her. Go get nate. Point him in the right direction.
Chuck：First things first. Well, hello angel. You must be my lucky night. And with taste to boot.
Jenny：Apparently not. I'm talking to you.
Chuck：Beautiful and mean? I've got chills. Care to dance with a poor devil?
Jenny：Why don't we just skip all that and go somewhere quiet to talk?
Chuck：I'll get the champagne.
Jenny：Find me in five.
Captain：Taking a company public is an enormous responsibility. There's nothing more valuable than making a good first impression. And you taught me that,Eleanor.
Eleanor: Captain, you know that I adore you but you've never done fashion before. I have been talking to Calvin's people and I have to say,the presentation is very impressive.
Anne：Enough business talk,Howard.You're boring her.Eleanor,I've been thinking.When Nate and Blair get engaged, she should have my great grandmother's ring,
Eleanor: The one that Cornelius Vanderbilt gave her?
Rufus：You still spying on him?
Lily：I'm not spying. I'm just keeping track of his whereabouts.
Rufus：Well, so long as you're watching, he's winning. If you really want to make a man jealous,there's only one thing to do.
Lily：Rufus,I invited you here for many reasons but knowledge of romance is not...(They kiss) That was,um...unexpected.
Rufus：Give him 20 minutes.
Lily：I need a drink.
Rufus：I need a drink.
Serena's Date：So every time we see their yacht now, we just pull out our air horns and let 'em rip. I tell you,it is almost enough to make you never want to summer in Newport again.
Serena：Wow,that sounds awful.
Serena's Date：It is. It's pretty bad.
Serena：Yeah, you know what? If you'll excuse me,I think I'm gonna go… Dan：Change partners? Hey.
Serena：Dan,what are you doing here?
Dan：I'm saving you.
Serena：I don't need to be saved.
Dan：Really? 'Cause I could see your eyes rolling to the back of your head from across the room.
Kati：Blair sent us over.
Isabel：She said it's getting late and you're taking too long.
Kati：Your lady-in-waiting is closer than you think, her headdress is feathers of black and pink.
Nate：What? I'm sorry.
Kati：Just find Serena. She'll lead you to Blair.
Jenny：Let's play a game.
Chuck：I'd say strip poker but I don't have my cards.
Jenny：How about hide-and-seek? You hide. I'll seek.
Chuck：And how will you find me? I don't have any bread crumbs.
Jenny：Well, you can leave me a trail...with your clothes.
Chuck：I have truly died and gone to heaven.
Man：So how you doing?
Serena：What are you really doing here,Dan?
Dan：What am I doing here? I ran across the city. I rented a tuxedo. I stole this mask from some drunken kid, only to look like Robin. I conned my way in here,all to see you. I care.
Serena：Well, you didn't seem to care this morning when you were with another girl and lied to me.
Dan：What? Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa. I didn't-well...I did. Yeah.I did but I can explain.
Serena：Go ahead. Give it your best shot.
Dan：I was with my friend Vanessa. We're very close and she moved away to Vermont last year and now she's back.
Serena：Okay,so why'd you lie and say it was Jenny?
Dan：Because I'm an idiot. I don't know why. I... Look,Vanessa and I... Our relationship is a little complicated or it was before I met you. And honestly,I didn't want anything to get in the way of you inviting me to this... Stupid party.
Serena：Well,I was gonna invite you.
Dan：Really? So not into pompous ass the fourth?
Serena：You're saying you're not into old friend Vanessa?
Dan：That is exactly what I'm saying.
Gossip Girl：Oh yes. The other part we love about a masquerade? When the mask finally comes off and the truth is revealed to all.
Dan：Will you excuse me? I just saw the last person I ever expected to see.
Serena：Yeah. How can I say no to that?
Dan：Vanessa. Vanessa. Hey. This is a surprise.
Vanessa: Funny. I could say the same thing.
Dan：What-what are you doing here?
Vanessa: I'm writing an American history paper. Wait. That was supposed to be you. When did we start lying to each other?
Dan：I merely refrained from sharing the truth, which would have sounded a lot more like a lie than what I told you.
Dan：I'm-I didn't understand that either,I admit,but what was I gonna say? That I was renting a tuxedo to attend a masked ball without a mask or an invitation to go get a girl who not only has a mask and an invitation but another date?
Vanessa: At least it's honest.
Dan：You hate this world.
Vanessa: So do you,or so I thought.
Dan：All right,what's going on exactly? Did you follow me here to prove that I was lying?
Vanessa: Yes Dan, that's why I'm here. I stalked you because I am just so obsessed with you. Wait. Don't stop there. You're the whole reason I came back to New York 'vause I just couldn't stop thinking about you.
Dan：All right,I get the point. You can lay off the sarcasm…
Vanessa: How about I lay off the whole evening? Bye.
Dan：Wait wait wait,stop. Hold on. Listen. I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I lied about writing a term paper.
Vanessa: You said you love me.
Dan：Loved you... In the past and in a preshaving,16-year-old kind of way. You know,I mean,things have changed.
Vanessa: (voice breaks) clearly. Looks like someone's traded up.
Dan：Vanessa. Yeah. She's...
Dan：I have to go after her. I'm sorry.
Chuck：Feel free to find me.
Jenny：I found your pants.
Chuck：Well, you're getting warmer, which is an achievement considering you're already hot.
Jenny：Well, you better hope it doesn't get cold.
Chuck：What is that supposed to mean? What the hell?! Hey,my phone is in my pants and I'm stuck up here,bitch!
Dan: Vanessa! Vanessa wait please. Why won't you wait? Come here-oh. Because you're not Vanessa.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.Case of mistaken identity. Ironically, not involving masks.