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Keeping the Passion of Love Alive

Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep burning, unquenchable.henry Ward Beecher, American clergyman Imagine that you've decided to build a fire, you carefully choose the logs, the kindling, and after lighting a match to start a fire, you watch over it until you are sure the fire is burning strongly and steadily. Then you sit back and enjoy the comforting warmth, the delightful play of the flames, the magical light. You dont need to be as vigilant about keeping the fire blazing Even if you've neglected the fire for a while, even if it appears to have died out, you see that the embers still radiate a deep, orange glow that can only be created by hours of extreme heat. Although by themsleves they produce no flames, they can ignite a newly added piece of wood, in seconds, suddenly rekindling the full force of fire, transforming the dormant coals into a roaring blaze.

We can learn a lot about passion between two lovers by thinking about what we intuitively know about building and maintaining a fire. When you first meet someone and fall in love, you carefull court and seduce him or her, adding the right amount of intimacy, the perfect amount of commitment until the fire of passion flares up between your hearts and your bodies. for a while, this blaze burns brightly on its own and you grow accustomed to the joy it brings to your life. How lucky we are, to have such a passionate relationship!

How many people ask themselves, at this critical point in a love relationship, if the fire of passion has died down simply because no one has been tending it, because no on has added fuel to keep it burning? How many walk away from their embers of their marriage, certain that fire has died out, without noticing that the coals of love still contain much heat to reignite into flames, if only they are given a chance?

So, before it is too late >> respect the fire of passion, the fire of love. Understand that to stay alive, it needs to be honoured, to be cared for, to be tended diligently as you would tend a fire you had built in the wilderness to help you warm and safe from harm. Feed the fire of your love with kindness, communication and gratitude, and it will always blaze strongly and brightly for you.

Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D
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